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Best Of: The ‘Quiet Catastrophe’ Brewing in Our Social Lives

Summary, books mentioned, transcript quotes, and timestamps for Best Of: The ‘Quiet Catastrophe’ Brewing in Our Social Lives on The Ezra Klein Show.

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Best Of: The ‘Quiet Catastrophe’ Brewing in Our Social Lives mentions Regarding the Pain of Others by Susan Sontag, Black Paper by Teju Cole, Hangout by Sheila Liming, and The Hair by Melanie Finn with timestamps, quotes, and episode context.

3 books from this episode

In her book, Regarding the Pain of Others, a long essay that she wrote, she talks about how compassion is an unstable emotion, meaning that it's some…

Black Paper
Teju Cole

It's called Black Paper, and it's actually a collection of articles and essays by Teju Cole combined with some lectures, but it's the lectures I'm re…

Hangout
Sheila Liming

Sheila Liming is the author of the new book Hangout, which diagnoses what she calls a quiet catastrophe.

Episode summary
The holidays are an unusually social time, filled with parties and family get-togethers. But for most of the year, we feel isolated and unsatisfied with our social lives. Our society isn’t structured to support connection year-round. So it’s an apt time to re-air this episode — a conversation with the writer Sheila Liming about rediscovering the lost art of hanging out. Liming is an associate professor of professional writing at Champlain College and the author of “Hanging Out: The Radical Power of Killing Time.” In the book, Liming investigates the troubling fact that we’ve grown much less likely to simply spend time together outside our partnerships, workplaces and family units. What would it look like to reconfigure our world to make social connection easier for all of us? I spoke to Liming in April 2023. But I find that this conversation provides a clearer sense of what’s gone wrong in our social lives — and how to make “hanging out” with others more fulfilling. Note: We're still gathering questions for an upcoming "Ask Me Anything" episode we'd like to record. If you have any questions for Ezra, please email [email protected] using the subject line "AMA." Mentioned: “You’d Be Happier Living Closer to Friends. Why Don’t You?” by Anne Helen Petersen “The Nuclear Family Was a Mistake” by David Brooks Full Surrogacy Now by Sophie Lewis Regarding the Pain of Others by Susan Sontag Letters from Tove by Tove Jansson Book Recommendations: Black Paper by Teju Cole On the Inconvenience of Other People by Lauren Berlant The Hare by Melanie Finn Thoughts? Guest suggestions? Email us at [email protected]. You can find transcripts (posted midday) and more episodes of “The Ezra Klein Show” at nytimes.com/ezra-klein-podcast, and you can find Ezra on Twitter @ezraklein. Book recommendations from all our guests are listed at https://www.nytimes.com/article/ezra-klein-show-book-recs. This episode of “The Ezra Klein Show” is produced by Annie Galvin, with Jeff Geld, Rogé Karma and Kristin Lin. Fact-checking by Michelle Harris, Mary Marge Locker and Kate Sinclair. Mixing by Jeff Geld. Original music by Isaac Jones. Audience strategy by Shannon Busta. The executive producer of New York Times Opinion Audio is Annie-Rose Strasser. Special thanks to Sonia Herrero and Kristina Samulewski.
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Regarding the Pain of Others
Susan Sontag

The host references Susan Sontag's book to illustrate the complexity of compassion in human interactions, particularl…

Card
Black Paper
Teju Cole

The host mentions 'Black Paper' by Teju Cole as a significant work that combines essays and lectures, particularly ap…

Card
Hangout
Sheila Liming

The host mentions Sheila Liming's book 'Hangout' to highlight the increasing loneliness in modern society and the cha…

Card
The Hair
Melanie Finn

The host mentions 'The Hair' as a lighter yet engaging read, categorizing it as a feminist gothic thriller. The book…

Card
Letters
Tove Jansson

The host discusses Tove Jansson's letters to her friend during World War II to illustrate the depth and intimacy that…

Card
On the Inconvenience of Other People
Lauren Berlant

The host mentions 'On the Inconvenience of Other People' to explore the philosophical implications of social interact…

Card
Full Surrogacy Now
Sophie Lewis

The host references 'Full Surrogacy Now' by Sophie Lewis to explore the pressures and unrealistic expectations associ…

Card
Hanging Out

The host discusses the increasing loneliness in society and how it relates to the structures we've created that hinde…

Card
Book mentions8
Media mentions0
Event size39
Quick answers

Quick FAQ

Answers to common summary, books, and takeaway questions for this episode.

What is Best Of: The ‘Quiet Catastrophe’ Brewing in Our Social Lives about?

Summary, books mentioned, transcript quotes, and timestamps for Best Of: The ‘Quiet Catastrophe’ Brewing in Our Social Lives on The Ezra Klein Show.

What are the main takeaways from Best Of: The ‘Quiet Catastrophe’ Brewing in Our Social Lives?

These are the strongest takeaways surfaced by the transcript, summary copy, and linked mentions for Best Of: The ‘Quiet Catastrophe’ Brewing in Our Social Lives.

  • The conversation centers on recommendations for books.
  • A second recurring theme is compassion in relationships.
  • Referenced books include Regarding the Pain of Others by Susan Sontag and Black Paper by Teju Cole.
  • The strongest audience signal points to Readers interested in emotional dynamics and relationships and Readers interested in ethics and modern societal issues.

Which books are mentioned in Best Of: The ‘Quiet Catastrophe’ Brewing in Our Social Lives?

Regarding the Pain of Others by Susan Sontag, Black Paper by Teju Cole, and Hangout by Sheila Liming are the clearest linked books in this episode, each tied back to transcript timestamps and quote cards.

Why are listeners searching for Best Of: The ‘Quiet Catastrophe’ Brewing in Our Social Lives?

Best Of: The ‘Quiet Catastrophe’ Brewing in Our Social Lives keeps attracting summary-style searches because this page combines episode context, transcript quotes, book references, and direct jump links back into the audio.

Topic and sentiment signals

Aggregated from transcript-derived mention metadata for better topical navigation and citation.

Mention sentiment
Deep Dive(6)Highly Recommended(2)
Audience signals
Readers interested in emotional dynamics and relationshipsReaders interested in ethics and modern societal issuesIndividuals interested in social dynamics and community buildingstudents and readers interested in feminist literatureReaders interested in literature and the dynamics of relationshipsreaders interested in philosophy and social theory

Books Mentioned

The full list below is ranked by how useful each mention is to a listener: stronger recommendation language, clearer quote context, and better timestamp support rise first.

Regarding the Pain of Others cover
Best for Readers interested in emotional dynamics and relationshipsOften cited around compassion in relationships

In her book, Regarding the Pain of Others, a long essay that she wrote, she talks about how compassion is an unstable emotion, meaning that it's something that actually has to be exercised and trained over and over again.

View mention details
Sentiment: Deep Dive
For: Readers interested in emotional dynamics and relationships
Key quote: In her book, Regarding the Pain of Others, a long essay that she wrote, she talks about how compassion is an unstable emotion, meaning that it's something that actually has to be exercised and trained over and over again because it fluctuates.
The host references Susan Sontag's book to illustrate the complexity of compassion in human interactions, particularly in the context of friendships and conflicts. They emphasize that compassion is not a static emotion but requires continual effort to maintain, especially in the face of anger and contempt.
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Black Paper cover
Black Paper
Teju Cole
Best for Readers interested in ethics and modern societal issuesOften cited around recommendations for books

A collection of articles and essays by Teju Cole, focusing on concepts like ethics in the modern world, particularly through his lectures.

View mention details
Sentiment: Highly Recommended
For: Readers interested in ethics and modern societal issues
Key quote: It's called Black Paper, and it's actually a collection of articles and essays by Teju Cole combined with some lectures, but it's the lectures I'm really into.
The host mentions 'Black Paper' by Teju Cole as a significant work that combines essays and lectures, particularly appreciating the depth of the lectures included in the book. The discussions on ethics in the modern world resonate with the host's reflections on interpersonal connections during the pandemic.
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Hangout cover
Hangout
Sheila Liming
Best for Individuals interested in social dynamics and community buildingOften cited around social structures and loneliness

Sheila Liming is the author of the new book Hangout, which diagnoses what she calls a quiet catastrophe. In her view, we're just having a lot of trouble hanging out, being in the presence of others.

View mention details
Sentiment: Deep Dive
For: Individuals interested in social dynamics and community building
Key quote: Sheila Liming is the author of the new book Hangout, which diagnoses what she calls a quiet catastrophe.
The host mentions Sheila Liming's book 'Hangout' to highlight the increasing loneliness in modern society and the challenges of social interaction. Liming's work serves as a manifesto for reclaiming the art of hanging out and addressing the structural issues contributing to isolation.
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The Hair cover
The Hair
Melanie Finn
Best for students and readers interested in feminist literatureOften cited around recommendations for books

A feminist gothic thriller that is dark and beautifully written, published in 2021, and currently being taught in a class.

View mention details
Sentiment: Highly Recommended
For: students and readers interested in feminist literature
Key quote: it is a feminist, gothic thriller. It is super fun. It's very dark. It's gorgeously written.
The host mentions 'The Hair' as a lighter yet engaging read, categorizing it as a feminist gothic thriller. The book is on their mind because they are teaching it in a class, indicating its relevance and importance in their current academic context.
Amazon search results · affiliate link
Find on Amazon
Letters cover
Letters
Tove Jansson
Best for Readers interested in literature and the dynamics of relationshipsOften cited around importance of relationships

The letters Tove Jansson wrote to her friend Eva Konnikova during World War II are described as stirring and beautiful, showcasing their intimate relationship despite the distance.

View mention details
Sentiment: Deep Dive
For: Readers interested in literature and the dynamics of relationships
Key quote: I've never read a book by her that didn't completely change my worldview or my life, and I'm just really impressed by her intellect.
The host discusses Tove Jansson's letters to her friend during World War II to illustrate the depth and intimacy that can be achieved through written communication, especially in challenging times. This example serves to highlight the long-term value of maintaining relationships despite physical separation and uncertainty.
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On the Inconvenience of Other People cover
Best for readers interested in philosophy and social theoryOften cited around impact of social interactions

A philosophical exploration of the phrase 'hell is other people' by Lauren Berlant, discussing the concept of inconvenience in the political world.

View mention details
Sentiment: Deep Dive
For: readers interested in philosophy and social theory
Key quote: one of the things that Berlant argues very eloquently is that inconvenience is not a concept.
The host mentions 'On the Inconvenience of Other People' to explore the philosophical implications of social interactions during the pandemic. Lauren Berlant's work is highlighted for its examination of how inconvenience shapes political and personal relationships.
Amazon search results · affiliate link
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Full Surrogacy Now cover
Full Surrogacy Now
Sophie Lewis
Best for Individuals interested in family dynamics and societal normsOften cited around nuclear family dynamics

Sophie Lewis talks about the family unit as a hostage situation, highlighting the pressures and expectations that come with being part of a nuclear family.

View mention details
Sentiment: Deep Dive
For: Individuals interested in family dynamics and societal norms
Key quote: In that book, Lewis talks about the family unit as a hostage situation, that there are certain compulsions and expectations that come with our life as part of a nuclear family unit that are actually impossible to satisfy.
The host references 'Full Surrogacy Now' by Sophie Lewis to explore the pressures and unrealistic expectations associated with the nuclear family structure. Lewis argues that these expectations can lead to anxiety and strain in relationships, suggesting a need for a more open and inclusive understanding of family.
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Hanging Out cover
Best for Individuals interested in social dynamics and mental healthOften cited around loneliness and social structures

The book discusses the importance of social arrangements and how we prioritize or deprioritize them in our lives, particularly in relation to community and isolation.

View mention details
Sentiment: Deep Dive
For: Individuals interested in social dynamics and mental health
Key quote: In her view, we're just having a lot of trouble hanging out, being in the presence of others.
The host discusses the increasing loneliness in society and how it relates to the structures we've created that hinder social interactions. Sheila Liming's book 'Hanging Out' is mentioned as a manifesto that explores the importance of simply being together and the consequences of losing that ability.
Direct Amazon listing · affiliate link
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Regarding the Pain of Others
The Ezra Klein Show · 45:31
In her book, Regarding the Pain of Others, a long essay that she wrote, she talks about how compassion is an unstable emotion, meaning that it's some…
Black Paper
The Ezra Klein Show · 1:15:40
It's called Black Paper, and it's actually a collection of articles and essays by Teju Cole combined with some lectures, but it's the lectures I'm re…
Hangout
The Ezra Klein Show · 2:55
Sheila Liming is the author of the new book Hangout, which diagnoses what she calls a quiet catastrophe.
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Shop This Episode

Pick up the books after you hear them in context.

Regarding the Pain of Others cover
Mentioned at 45:31
Regarding the Pain of Others
Susan Sontag

The host references Susan Sontag's book to illustrate the complexity of compassion in human interactions, particularly in the context of friendship…

Amazon search results · affiliate link
Black Paper cover
Mentioned at 1:15:40
Black Paper
Teju Cole

The host mentions 'Black Paper' by Teju Cole as a significant work that combines essays and lectures, particularly appreciating the depth of the le…

Direct Amazon listing · affiliate link
Hangout cover
Mentioned at 2:55
Hangout
Sheila Liming

The host mentions Sheila Liming's book 'Hangout' to highlight the increasing loneliness in modern society and the challenges of social interaction.…

Direct Amazon listing · affiliate link

Movies & Documentaries Mentioned

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