The Body Language Expert: Stop Using This, It’s Making People Dislike You, So Are These Subtle Mistakes! Your Resting Face Matters & How To Fix It!

Neil Strauss

if you don't have people skills, you cannot succeed.

Vanessa

Oh my gosh, I love you. I love Captivate.

She thinks about it for maybe one second and goes, Katniss Everdeens from the Hunger Games.

Episode summary

What if you were told that there is a secret language that makes up 98% of your communication? Impacting your work, socialising, and romantic life Vanessa Van Edwards is the founder of ‘Science of People’, which gives people science-backed skills to improve communication and leadership. She is also the bestselling author of ‘Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People’ and ‘Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication’. In this conversation, Vanessa and Steven discuss topics such as, why your resting face matters, the 3 science-backed tricks for confidence, the best gestures for building trust, and how to spot a liar fast. 00:00 Intro 01:45 The Crucial Role of Cues for Success 03:16 I'm a Recovered Awkward Person 05:07 What's an Ambivert? 07:00 One Word That Can Change the Way People Think 09:11 The Most Fundamental Skill to Invest In 12:13 The Resting B*tch Face Effect 15:33 Do Not Fake Smile! 18:00 The 97 Cues to Be Warm and Competent 21:15 The Formula to a Perfect Conversation 24:09 Science Reveals Why Some People Are Extremely Popular 28:06 Message People Telling Them This... 32:53 The Luck Experiment 34:36 Being Around Successful People Is Contagious 41:26 The Importance of Hand Gestures 43:10 Hand Tricks to Be Liked 53:46 The Scientific Formula to Be More Charismatic 56:19 The Danger Zone of Being Too Warm or Competent 58:16 The Power Cues 1:07:26 How to Spot a Liar 1:14:54 If You've Been Told You're Intimidating, Do This 1:18:09 Don't Let Anyone Use This With You 1:21:16 The 6 Questions to Connect With Someone 1:33:52 Leaning Too Much Towards Someone... 1:38:34 How to Greet Someone 1:49:13 How to Master Messaging 1:54:12 Personal Branding 1:58:32 Improve Your Dating Life With These Tips 2:03:58 Body Language and Brain Connection 2:06:05 Are You Awkward? Watch This 2:09:45 How to Get Someone to Approach You 2:14:39 How to Make Friends as an Adult 2:18:28 AirPods Are Killing Friendships 2:21:48 Ads 2:22:39 How to Spot a Liar (Repeat Topic) 2:28:36 Toxic Relationships 2:31:06 How to Start a Conversation With a Stranger 2:35:32 How to Get Started With All This Knowledge Follow Vanessa: Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/cm3A7r1O6Ob Twitter - https://g2ul0.app.link/IVgMiQ3O6Ob Science of People - https://g2ul0.app.link/5LJ8mO5O6Ob You can access the images mentioned, here: https://linktr.ee/diaryofaceostudies You can purchase Vanessa’s book, ‘Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication’, here: https://g2ul0.app.link/HjfkOgZO6Ob Watch the episodes on Youtube - https://g2ul0.app.link/DOACEpisodes My new book! 'The 33 Laws Of Business & Life' is out now - https://g2ul0.app.link/DOACBook You can purchase the The Diary Of A CEO Conversation Cards: Second Edition, here: https://g2ul0.app.link/f31dsUttKKb Follow me: https://g2ul0.app.link/gnGqL4IsKKb

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Neil Strauss

The host emphasizes the significance of understanding social dynamics and cues in personal and professional interacti…

Vanessa

The host discusses the nuances of social interactions, particularly focusing on the balance of warmth and competence…

The host discusses the importance of understanding how individuals relate to characters in books or movies as a refle…

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Dale Carnegie

The host mentions 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' to highlight its limitations for introverts and ambiverts…

charisma and social interactions(1)communication and charisma(1)importance of social skills(1)self-narrative questions(1)social interactions and warmth(1)

Vanessa Van Edwards

The host mentions the book 'Captivate' in the context of discussing warmth and competence in social interactions. The…

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The conversation centers on charisma and social interactions.
A second recurring theme is communication and charisma.
Referenced books include The Game by Neil Strauss and Captivate by Vanessa.
The strongest audience signal points to Individuals seeking to improve their social skills and Individuals interested in improving their social skills and charisma.

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Deep Dive(3)Critical Analysis(1)Passing Reference(1)

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Individuals seeking to improve their social skillsIndividuals interested in improving their social skills and charismaIndividuals interested in personal development and self-discoveryIntroverts and ambiverts seeking to improve their communication skillsIndividuals interested in improving their social skills and charisma.

Books Mentioned

The full list below is ranked by how useful each mention is to a listener: stronger recommendation language, clearer quote context, and better timestamp support rise first.

Neil Strauss

Best for Individuals seeking to improve their social skillsOften cited around importance of social skills

“My brother, my older brother, Jason, he ordered this book called The Game by Neil Strauss. I read the book and it was my first time understanding that body language was A, important, but even something you could learn.”

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Sentiment: Deep Dive

Trigger: importance of social skills

For: Individuals seeking to improve their social skills

Key quote: “if you don't have people skills, you cannot succeed.”

The host emphasizes the significance of understanding social dynamics and cues in personal and professional interactions. They mention 'The Game' to highlight how mastering social skills can lead to greater success in various aspects of life.

Direct Amazon listing · affiliate link

Vanessa

Best for Individuals interested in improving their social skills and charismaOften cited around social interactions and warmth

“The author discusses how her book 'Captivate' hit the bestseller list after she shared her vulnerability in the introduction, stating she's a recovering awkward person.”

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Sentiment: Deep Dive

Trigger: social interactions and warmth

For: Individuals interested in improving their social skills and charisma

Key quote: “Oh my gosh, I love you. I love Captivate.”

The host discusses the nuances of social interactions, particularly focusing on the balance of warmth and competence in greetings. They reference 'Captivate' to emphasize the importance of understanding social cues and personal connections in communication.

Direct Amazon listing · affiliate link

Best for Individuals interested in personal development and self-discoveryOften cited around self-narrative questions

“The speaker shares an example of a friend's self-perception, revealing that she identifies with Katniss Everdeen from 'The Hunger Games', indicating how she feels about her daily struggles.”

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Sentiment: Deep Dive

Trigger: self-narrative questions

For: Individuals interested in personal development and self-discovery

Key quote: “She thinks about it for maybe one second and goes, Katniss Everdeens from the Hunger Games.”

The host discusses the importance of understanding how individuals relate to characters in books or movies as a reflection of their self-perception. They use the example of a friend identifying with Katniss Everdeen from 'The Hunger Games' to illustrate how this question can lead to deeper conversations about personal struggles and feelings.

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How to Win Friends and Influence People

Dale Carnegie

Best for Introverts and ambiverts seeking to improve their communication skillsOften cited around communication and charisma

“The speaker mentions reading 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' and critiques it as a book written by an extrovert, suggesting it may not be suitable for those who are not naturally extroverted.”

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Sentiment: Critical Analysis

Trigger: communication and charisma

For: Introverts and ambiverts seeking to improve their communication skills

Key quote: “I read the quintessential How to Win Friends and Influence People back in the day. And that's a wonderful book, but it's not a good book.”

The host mentions 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' to highlight its limitations for introverts and ambiverts. They argue that while the book is well-known, it primarily caters to extroverts, making it challenging for those who are not naturally outgoing to learn effective communication skills.

Direct Amazon listing · affiliate link

Vanessa Van Edwards

Transcript mention

Best for Individuals interested in improving their social skills and charisma.Often cited around charisma and social interactions

“When I got approached to write Captivate, I was like, no. I can't write books. I'm a YouTuber and a blogger, but I can't write books.”

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Sentiment: Passing Reference

Trigger: charisma and social interactions

For: Individuals interested in improving their social skills and charisma.

Key quote: “Oh my gosh, I love you. I love Captivate.”

The host mentions the book 'Captivate' in the context of discussing warmth and competence in social interactions. They highlight how the book has influenced their understanding of personal connections and the nuances of hugging.

Direct Amazon listing · affiliate link

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The Game

The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett · 54:54

if you don't have people skills, you cannot succeed.

Captivate

The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett · 1:54:52

Oh my gosh, I love you. I love Captivate.

The Hunger Games

The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett · 1:29:29

She thinks about it for maybe one second and goes, Katniss Everdeens from the Hunger Games.

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Neil Strauss

The host emphasizes the significance of understanding social dynamics and cues in personal and professional interactions. They mention 'The Game' t…

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Mentioned at 1:54:52

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Vanessa

The host discusses the nuances of social interactions, particularly focusing on the balance of warmth and competence in greetings. They reference '…

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Mentioned at 1:29:29